Letting Go

In the last three months I’ve tried to rebuild my life and marriage in a more positive way.

Lots of Zen thoughts and breathing and letting go of the past. Nights of long reflection, and a slow realisation of who I am, who she is, and what makes us both tick.

Despite it all, it’s still very easy for an innocent word or action to mean that history moves, in one fell swoop, from a barely suppressed memory to a slideshow of faces right behind my eyelids.

Anger chasing sleep away, pushing a deep, involuntary breath of rage out of my chest.

Letting go of the past is a process… and I have the feeling I’m still on step one.

~ by Madron on July 17, 2008.