So What Is It About Japan?

I’m starting the new week in a good space, after having a great weekend.

Lots of honest, open communication between TDL and me over recent days, and now I see hope and glimpses (still rare) of where we could possibly end up together.

An exciting place to be, although overlaid with a thin, yet gradually receding veneer of fear – can we overcome our past mistakes and our past history? Can I be the person that she needs and desires? And in turn, can she be the one that I need?

Funnily enough, I am at peace with this, and it is no longer keeping me awake at night. If I’ve realised anything over the last week, it’s that I can’t change or control the people around me and they can’t change me. I can only change myself, and that is where the focus of my energy needs to be. Everything else will flow from that.

So… just what is it about Japan?

For some reason, I’ve always had a thing for Japan, although I have never been fortunate enough to visit.

The rich history and culture have always been of interest, and I’ve dipped my toe in the water a few times to start learning the language, as well as being a novice student of the tea ceremony and Zen Buddhism. I also dig anime and manga (in all its forms, lol) which sort of (well, not really) leads into my latest insight.

One great thing TDL and I have learned this week about each other is that we have a shared love of Bukkake.

Bukkake porn (and Gokun for that matter) have long been favourites of mine, and mentally replaying my favourite scenes are a sure fire way to get my blood pumping. I’m not sure what it is for me, but I think much is to do with the idea of a woman completely submitting to a group of men.

The act of cumming all over a woman’s face and body strikes me as such a powerful expression of male domination and female submission – I just love it!

Multiplying the effect through having a large number of guys doing it to a single woman to me seems to tilt the whole thing even more dramatically towards the dominant.

The funny thing for me is that I find Bukkake porn involving non-Japanese women to be the most exciting. I wondered today why that is, and I don’t think it’s because Japanese women don’t do it for me physically. In my experience, Japanese women in porn (and I know I’m probably generalising here) are submissive almost to the point of being mere shadows or caricatures of a real woman.

In my eyes, this actually detracts from the dominant flavour of the experience. For me, it seems far more exciting to dominate a strong woman who is not afraid to show her sexuality or her independence. (It goes without saying that this is without topping from the bottom of course).

Much more is being given in the exchange of power and therefore things are just more ‘real’. Western women in Bukkake porn to me seem to fit better with this perception – more openly sexual and confident, yet willingly submitting. Hmmm – nice….

TDL also spoke to me last night about her interest in Shibari and Kinbaku (Japanese bondage). This is an area I’ve seen stuff on in the past, but have to admit I don’t know much about.

I’ve always admired the intricate ropework in the Kinbaku imagery I’ve seen before, and the ritualistic nature of this (and many other aspects of Japanese culture) is something which has a real appeal for me.

After some thought, I think I can connect the dots on this one. I see the ritualistic nature as actually lending a layer of respectability and civility (like a blanket) over the top of primal acts which appeal to our most base desires as sexual beings (animals).

Which in turn leads me to the real insight….

Japan as a culture can be viewed in the same way. A country in which all aspects of life are dominated by politeness and ritual. A country in which everyone (on the surface) conforms to social norms and expectations and their correct place in the order of things.

Yet just below the respectable surface, running like a constant dark undercurrent, beats a sexual heart of dominance and submission. A culture that has created the geisha, anime and manga porn, bukkake, gokun, and kinbaku.

So then, just what is it about Japan?

Japan is me.

I have spent my whole life dominated by politeness and ritual (both social and religious).

I have conformed to what I thought was the expected way to behave to be accepted by both my partner and society at large.

Yet hidden just below the surface lies something else altogether.

My true self.

Did someone say Kinbaku?

~ by Madron on May 5, 2008.